Venting Boyfriend told me my feelings bore him, save it for my therapist

[Sweetsinking]

Well, story is I was telling him about the depressive episode I'm in and talking about our relationship and me wanting more effort from him, how me makes me feel insignificant. He said him saying he loves me should matter more than that....? Yea, well then he continued and said he doesn't care about how I feel, how it bores him, how I just wake up waiting to get in my emotions, how I should learn to sleep it off, how I victimize myself, mocked me saying "I hate my life" (I never say that to him lmfao) and to save all that talk for my therapist, only tell him good things.
He went on a very extensive ramble over a small plead for his effort. I'm surprised because he's never treated me like this for being in my feels. Guys, I know being suicidal over a relationship can be corny, but this was just the icing on the cake. I was literally talking to him about me being suicidal and feeling alone, apparently that's how he wants to respond. He gave me two shitty paragraphs in the middle of the night as an apology, what's been said has been said, idc. I've been with him since 2017.

Anyways thinking of getting a rope finally... all of the braided ropes are like 15-100ft lmao what do I do about that, try to cut through half of it? (id have to buy a blade too ig).

- Thank you all for your replies, especially putting in the effort to read this and respond with kind intentions -

 

[kopebaldy]

Sister, that's not your boyfriend, that's an emotion parasite.

Those people will syphon everything good out of you then leave.

 

[liquid jen]

Guys, I know being suicidal over a relationship can be corny, but this was just the icing on the cake. I was literally talking to him about me being suicidal and feeling alone, apparently that's how he wants to respond.

No, this is very much understandable, not corny. It's insane that he would treat you like that. Complete and total opposite of how someone who loves you should respond. I'm sorry that happened.

 

[Kurwenal]

I'm sorry you're in a relationship that is causing you harm. Nobody should be trapped with someone who doesn't respect them and their feelings. We can't control our innate feelings. And we should have a right to express them to those whom we love and trust, as a way both to help us understand and process the feelings for ourselves, but also to help them understand the situation we are in and what they can do to help. I know you've been with him for 8 years, and that is a long time. You said he has never treated you like this before. I don't know you and I don't know him. I can't guess at why he would react that way as a result of my ignorance. But whatever his reasons were, he hurt you in a truly vulnerable moment, and if he can't offer you any form of earnest apology, that's disgusting, in my opinion. Even if he had been some paragon of perfection in the years prior, his behaviour now is inexcusable.

I'm sorry this is what is pushing you to the edge. I'm sorry that someone who should have been there to love, support and care for you dismissed you so cruelly. If you need a safe space to express yourself, perhaps you can find that here, maybe even with a user whom you've interacted with before (I see you've been on this forum for some time).

I'm sorry you've been betrayed. I can only wish you peace within, whatever may come.