Big fearful dread

[Chronicallyunwell]

I posted my horrific health story a few days ago.

I know I will die by suicide, my biggest fear of having a chronic pain illness has come true and my heart and mind are flooded daily with this sense of doom and dread.

Fears of ctb:
-being left disabled, paralysed, brain damaged and still alive.
-what will happen to my boyfriend (although ironically he would have better life without me)
-fear of hell, being trapped in an afterlife, purgatory in this horrible state, or being a ghost trapped here.

 

[Light_]

You still have options. You should at least try to get your life back.

 

[Chronicallyunwell]

You still have options. You should at least try to get your life back.

Im still trying babe, i won't give in til its absolutely necessary believe me

 

[suffering_mo]

I posted my horrific health story a few days ago.

I know I will die by suicide, my biggest fear of having a chronic pain illness has come true and my heart and mind are flooded daily with this sense of doom and dread.

Fears of ctb:
-being left disabled, paralysed, brain damaged and still alive.
-what will happen to my boyfriend (although ironically he would have better life without me)
-fear of hell, being trapped in an afterlife, purgatory in this horrible state, or being a ghost trapped here.

I can empathize with ALL of what you say here, especially knowing that you will die by suicide and regarding your fears....those are the same fears that are keeping me trapped here, not hope in any way that I will get better or that this will improve for me (though it sounds like maybe you have this hope?). It makes it all the more painful, mentally and emotionally. I'm so sorry and hope that you can find some peace somehow - I don't know how to come to terms with it, though I am trying, because what I am living with is not bearable in any way, and I know the longer I wait this out, the worse it's going to be for me and my family.....because eventually, I know what the end is going to be for me. No human would be able to endure this if they had a way out.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'd also fear trying to die going wrong and leading to way worse suffering, I find it truly terrifying how there's no limit as to how much a human can suffer as long as they exist.

 

[Chronicallyunwell]

I'd also fear trying to die going wrong and leading to way worse suffering, I find it truly terrifying how there's no limit as to how much a human can suffer as long as they exist.

It's so terrifying :(
What do you think happens after death?