Being picked.

[RedFruit]

I feel like I'm never picked or I'm just used all the time. My whole life people have found me attractive enough to kiss or sleep with. I've been a girlfriend a few times. The last time I was, I got cheated on. Bad. I've finally met a guy that I'm attracted to again and he's attracted to me. While I was over, he's in his texts with his mom and he accidentally showed me he was sending pics of some girl to him. I was told that she's just a friend. So I told him "I don't know why you'd lie and say she's just a friend when you're sending pics of her to your mom. That seems more serious." He said he's only known her two weeks and she is just a friend. I told him "but like you're sending pics of her to your mom? That feels more serious, no?" And he agreed and apologies. But the damage is done. We never had sex, but we were making out and he was touching me all over and treating me like I was special a bit. Just made me realize that him being "friends" with me, was even LESS than this girl. Obviously she's more pretty than me or I'm just lame or whatever. I'm clearly not getting picked. And it does hurt. It's so hard for me to find someone I'm even INTERESTED in KISSING. I put myself into a FWB zone and I didn't even want to. I just feel like I'll never get the love and care I want. I'm just a thing to everyone.

 

[tonicer]

That guy sounds like an idiot. I am a KHHV and if i ever had a girlfriend i would never cheat on her or send pictures of another woman to my mom ... what a weirdo.

 

[sourcherry]

:( we are pretty much the same.

i dont have a lot of experience. but for the rare moments i had made myself vulnerable and trusted people who i thought were good turned out to be selfish massive disappointments. they really dont give a shit about who you are as a person. they want any girl as a warm body, are infatuated with the idea of "having" a gf, care way more about how you will conveniently fit into their lives, and thats it.

as a self-harming/people pleaser ive given up on actual love completely. being on guard all the time is exhausting.