Venting Autism is acceptable until it doesn't make you the next Einstein (vent + poll)

[scary]

When I was diagnosed I've been told that those with autism can be very smart, and of course I agree. I have a lot of relatives that are on the spectrum and they are all so smart and talented in their own ways... and then there's me. Autism didn't make me an Einstein or a Sheldon, it gave me a handicap in life- a roadblock that's impossible to surpass. It's fine in the modern day to people who have basic empathy when an autistic person has things they're really good at that benefit the world in some way or makes an income, but when you don't its "You're not trying hard enough" "You're making up excuses" or "This autistic person is able to do it, why can't you?" at least, that's what I've been told and heard.

Being an autistic woman or girl is a special breed of hell, nobody believes that you have it. With the rise of people on social media faking it for attention it's become even harder for actual autistics to be taken seriously. Infantilization as well. When a girl says she's autistic people will have the stereotype in their head of the 'cutesy' stimming like flapping your hands like a penguin or some shit. "Every weird girl claims to have autism these days"

There's a bunch of reasons why the suicide rate for autistic people is so high and it never fails to make me sick to my stomach. Autistic people are people too, not something to gawk at and ask questions about whether or not we're able to do certain things and certainly not "lesser" for not being able to make the rich richer.

I wish I had the smart autism instead of the mentally challenged autism. I wish I had the ability to be good at something instead of just having 'interests'. I want to be of use in this world. I want people to have faith in me and see me as a human being instead of a burden.

 

[thelostautistic]

I'm a late diagnosed Autistic women and it's made life so difficult. It's the main reason why I want to ctb.

 

[TAW122]

I've been formally diagnosed during my adolescence years, and while I'm considered high functioning (Aspergers and also social awkwardness), life still sucks because I know I'm different, and something is always 'off' when socializing or I am unable to behave like how most people are or pick up cues, and I don't know what I don't know, which also leads to other issues that affect quality of life. While there are some advantages of the condition, I still don't find it that advantageous. People tell me I'm very smart or intelligent, but even though it seems like a compliment, it sounded disingenuous and ostentatious to me. Even if I didn't have autism, I still have other issues in my personal life (as well as society itself) that makes me want to CTB.

 

[BrokenByTheSystem]

I was diagnosed just last year with 25 years old. After that I did some recap about my limitations during my growing phase and everything started making so much sense, I had so many limitations, always trying to fit with other people groups but I was unable to do it.

I grew up alone, always thinking of myself a completely weirdo that nobody wants near by. I have interests yea I have an insane hyper fixation on psychology and evolution together (Evolutionary psychology). Nothing that brings any money and I don't even want money, I just want basic stuff.

I'm also a programmer and this area is dirty, it's the epicenter of greed, 99% of people are there just for the money never to do something actually good for the others, so I also don't make any money with it. Even tho I worked for 7 months in a startup and it was the hell on earth. I'd rather to kill myself or living on the streets (which I'm actually considering) instead of doing it again.

Also I'm very dysfunctional, I don't know how to do extremely basic things like catching a bus, I've no drive license and neither interest of doing it. I don't know how to talk to people and most of the time they think I'm being rude and ignorant. I feel extremely bad while talking to more than 1 people in a room.