At what age did you realize being born is a curse?

[sanction]

At what age did you finally wake up from reality, and realize we all just come here to fulfill our parent's personal wishes, and mainly just stuck here to work and pay bills, rely on ourselves to solve all sorts of problems, while slowly decay and decline towards old age, just to eventually die??

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

I was more pessimistic when I was stronger. When I'm suicidal I think life is a beautiful thing and I just regret not living better so I could participate. This would not surprise Schopenhauer, who thought suicide affirmed the will to live.

 

[overmorrow]

11

 

[PI3.14]

I used to think that being born is a curse. However, it's more like being me is a curse.

 

[huhokaythen]

8

 

[nobodycaresaboutme]

20 or 21, when I realized I am fucking autistic

 

[lamy's sacred sleep]

17?

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

I used to think that being born is a curse. However, it's more like being me is a curse.

Exactly. That's the painful thing. Many lives are awesome

 

[LittleSunshine]

At 27, I already wanted to be part of the 27 Club.
But of course, I was stupid enough to keep going for more than a decade.

 

[stardewwindceres]

I remember being at the youngest 7-8 and knowing that I was only alive because it's what my parents wanted but being confused because they didn't act like they actually wanted me to be alive and I remember that, apart from them, I didn't want to be alive at all for myself-but didn't really understand in a way I could really intellectually process. I just knew I wanted life to be like going to sleep and not waking up. Then I remember at 12 I started hurting myself and began to understand the roots of my specific emotional pain which led to looking at the bigger picture too and from there of "light bulb" moment going off of objective observation of society and the world in general, which lead to understanding that life is actually pointless, especially when it is a shitty life you are living. And I hated living- both existentially and personally. I remember trying to talk to other kids and adults, that everyone was just being "programmed" into believing that life was something we are supposed to want and enjoy and the powers that be or whatever you want to call them were purposefully attempting to make people blind to reality and succeeding. Of course, I was the crazy one. The only way life seems justified to me is if we were to get to choose it and understand the consequences and conditions of what being alive is. But that is just impossible. And I don't understand why people are not SO FUCKING ASTRONOMICALLY ANGRY that they exist without having been given a choice and educated on what that choice might mean. Of course this is impossible, so the anger is pointless, but it has been boiling under my skin ever since. I hope that makes sense.

 

[darksouls]

being born is just a curse for people like me, in my country most people are doing well, they enjoy life by exploiting others

 

[Dawns]

i remember first attempting when i was 12 but i didn't lose all hope until i turned about 22 and then i knew i was going to die by suicide

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

a small part of my brain started to realize these things a few years ago. but the battle in my brain continues , battling many years of brainwashing especially from age 0 to age 7 years when i didn't know any better and age 0 to age 13 years

 

[NeroJune9th]

25. That's when everything really hit me

 

[qewpie]

14 or maybe younger due to being in a religious cult

 

[Jan1193]

When i was 25, on my birthday exactly, after visiting my after at his job, and he even remind that was my birthday. I ended the day screaming for the tragedy of being alive, being born, being alone. That was the day that the absurd really hits me

 

[Hollowman]

12

 

[monkeysee2]

Probably my late teens when my mental and physical health issues became apparant. I don't think being born is a curse for everyone, some people live very happy and fulfilling lives. Unfortunately, I am not one of those people.

 

[Bitch With An Apple]

I dunno, maybe 5? I think it started with primary school. I had a pretty cool late blooming post-hs adolescence that made life worth living for awhile in spite of it, though

 

[Fate7]

12

 

[telekon]

early 20s

 

[doneforlife]

I don't think being born is a curse. However I do believe that being born without skillset necessary to navigate life is a curse. With the right kind of people, resources, health, wealth and being born in a developed country can really be a boon.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Weirdly, more recently. I've had ideation since the age of 10. I've felt I wanted out of life pretty much all of it. I resented and then hated the actuality of wage slavery by my mid teens. But even then, I was so focussed on trying to improve my situation that I didn't have the level of resentment I have now. Anti-natilist views were present by my late twenties. But the full blown resentment at having been born into wage slavery has only really flared up the past few years- I'm 45 now.

I think partly because my Mum died when I was 3. Most of my life has been spent cherishing her memory- or rather, the idea of her. I was too young to remember much. It's really comparitively recently that I've begun to question what on earth they thought they were doing bringing me here.

I'm grateful of that gap though. It's not pleasant to live with this level of resentment. It's not like it achieves anything. Asides from ensuring I didn't pass the curse on to any children. Although- that was more down to me being too uggly to attract anyone. But, it's not an easy thing to hide now. Now and again, my resentment and frustration towards life and having been born bubbles over.

 

[TwistedNightmares]

I was rather young when I realized being born was a curse. I don't remember the exact age, as my memory is pretty fragmented.

 

[Macedonian1987]

Ever since the age of just 5 or 6 years old I felt like i dont belong in this world, and by the age of 16 i knew that i will die by suicide one day.

 

[BeyondSurvival]

I probably started to notice something was wrong when I was 16. But the deeper realization of what exactly it was probably came when I was 18. Anyway, I miss being innocent, not knowing anything about this cruel life, just enjoying it.

I don't think being born is a curse. However I do believe that being born without skillset necessary to navigate life is a curse. With the right kind of people, resources, health, wealth and being born in a developed country can really be a boon.

Yeah, at least that would be a life worth living.
Still, I wouldn't choose to be born. We humans are fragile. Just because things are going well doesn't mean they always will. Not suffering right now doesn't mean you won't in the future. Our bodies are like ticking time bombs, waiting for the moment something goes wrong. Even a tiny mistake, like slipping from a high place can leave you severely injured and in unbearable pain.

 

[DarkLord444]

I used to think that being born is a curse. However, it's more like being me is a curse.

Sometimes some moments can be like a curse, we might suffer for years and then start living the life we've so longed for, it's all about goals...

 

[FuneralCry]

I've always felt in such a way as existence is the most terrible, dreadful abomination that just causes harm and suffering with no limit as to how much one can be tortured and I suffer simply from existing, I find it the most terrible tragedy how this existence was imposed and as long as I exist I'll only hope for peace, existence just feels like a mistake to me, I just want to be free from it all, I wish for no more pain and no more suffering, for me non-existence is just all that's positive.

 

[Greyhawk]

I think in 4th grade. I wasn't suicidal yet back then but I remember crying myself to sleep wishing I had never been born.

 

[Ashes of a Dreamer]

Ok, I'm feeling ashamed for being a delusional for more than 3 decades, as I only realize life is shit - for me and some - and will continue being when I achieved 30, seeing that nothing special happened.