Venting Are there people in your life that make recovery so much harder?

[traingirl]

I am in the depths of severe depression trying to recover and my dad is nothing but a fucking asshole to me. He bitches when I ask him to take me to my psychiatrist. He bitches that I don't have a job. Motherfucker, I stood in our bathroom with a gun to my mouth just a few weeks ago. Fuck you. I am trying so hard to get better. And this motherfucker doesn't appreciate any of it. They say during antidepressant withdrawal to have a good support system. I don't have SHIT! I am apparently doing this all on my own with no support. He says "I want you off your meds". But then when I exhibit signs of going off my meds it's a fucking problem. Goddamn this is a lonely road when no one is in your corner. Every time he talks like that I start to think maybe I should've just killed myself. My dad is the reason I'm so fucked up anyways. You can't create the monster and then be mad at what you created lmao.

 

[Vlad Tepes]

My literally insane (as in: Mentally disturbed beyond words) parents. To be fair, they are also the only "people" in my "life".

 

[traingirl]

My literally insane (as in: Mentally disturbed beyond words) parents. To be fair, they are also the only "people" in my "life".

My dad is mentally ill too but he'll never admit it. He just disguises his depression by constantly working and drinking alcohol and then acts like he's better than me lmao. He's an asshole who only views me transactionally as in what can I do for him. If I'm too depressed to fix us dinner. I'm a failure. If I'm too depressed to clean the house. I'm a failure.

 

[NormallyNeurotic]

My mom and dad for different reasons.

My dad is the scum of the earth, lower than pond scum (if his morals were literal, he'd have sunk into the ground and reached Hell by now). My mom is a victim of his too, but also dysregulated to the point that our relationship is super toxic currently.

 

[FoxSauce]

Well yeah my mom likes to sometimes make me and my sisters feel like shit.

To the point we're just roomates. Everytime she comes home makes me mad. I kinda pressure she has BPD like me but hey I wont believe until I see a document.


Im sorry you feel like this dude

 

[akiyama346]

Yeah, family

 

[Raine Meadows]

My parents in different ways. An angry, explosive, yet neglectful man and a quieter, enabler mother who puts me down a lot. They're a match made in hell.

 

[waytootiredforthis]

As odd as it sounds, anyone I ever fall in love with. They always mean well but the second I get mentally hurt by them or they start becoming distant, I resort to unhealthy coping mechanisms because it's what I know the best. I get too attached and when I get severe rejection sensitive dysphoria, I break. I can go so long being okay until I let people in, let them close, and then they hurt me (unintentionally or not). Most of the time, they're good for me, but I feel like without them, I wouldn't relapse so bad.

 

[traingirl]

As odd as it sounds, anyone I ever fall in love with. They always mean well but the second I get mentally hurt by them or they start becoming distant, I resort to unhealthy coping mechanisms because it's what I know the best. I get too attached and when I get severe rejection sensitive dysphoria, I break. I can go so long being okay until I let people in, let them close, and then they hurt me (unintentionally or not). Most of the time, they're good for me, but I feel like without them, I wouldn't relapse so bad.

I feel this but just with anyone who becomes a favorite person to me/shows me affection. I haven't been formally diagnosed with BPD but I fit the criteria and have been doing DBT. I feel like part of my major crashout this fall that caused my spiral into a depressive episode was getting to close to my favorite person.

 

[waytootiredforthis]

Totally feel this 100%. Every FP I get ends up affecting me way too much and is kinda why I'm scared to meet new people or get new friends. BPD feels like a death sentence sometimes and there's no real "cure" or "fix" (that I know of)

 

[TwistedNightmares]

Yes, my mom will never allow me to heal. She gaslights me, talks to me in a condescending tone, uses me every day, and is emotionally neglectful. It's very triggering.
Oh yeah, she also uses manipulative tactics a lot.

 

[hoppybunny]

Sorry about your Dad. I hope u can find a way to get away from him and recover.

Both my parents are to blame. Especially my mum. She never has anything nice to say to me unless I'm doing something for her. As for my dad he jusr enables my mum and takes his anger out on us(my siblings and i)
Plus both of them expect a bunch of stuff from us when we didn't as mk to be born.

I just want to make enough to live in my house and draw comics. But my dad and mum(Especially) keeps talking about how we're supposed to make tons of money so we can buy them expensive presents and pay for expensive trips for them.

 

[thislifeisunfair]

Yep, my Mum, whom I am now not going to live with anymore, doesn't get anything in my life. I know she cares, but she does not go about it in the right way. She accuses me of so many things. I get yelled at constantly, and because all I want to do is sleep, she kinda mocks me and calls me lazy. When in truth I'm just so tired from the depression, but she doesn't like labels for mental health. So all the things I have, she kind of ignores, even though a psychiatrist diagnosed me with them. The only thing she actually agrees that I have is an eating disorder, and she thinks that is the main problem when I just tried to take my life recently, and that's first and foremost on her agenda. I think it is because she doesn't want to have a daughter with mental health problems, and although an eating disorder is one, BPD is a lot more mental and harder to come to terms with. But my mum, the other day, just said that I won't have health insurance because I vape, and I asked what happens with death by suicide, and she said the same thing. Then she said how expensive a funeral is and that we can't afford it, so not to die. And that I can't die cause I would ruin everyone's life, and I just thought you're doing that all on your own. Anyway, enough ranting from me. I do love her cause she is my mother, but I don't like her if you get what I mean.

 

[sohopelessandempty]

I am in the depths of severe depression trying to recover and my dad is nothing but a fucking asshole to me. He bitches when I ask him to take me to my psychiatrist. He bitches that I don't have a job. Motherfucker, I stood in our bathroom with a gun to my mouth just a few weeks ago. Fuck you. I am trying so hard to get better. And this motherfucker doesn't appreciate any of it. They say during antidepressant withdrawal to have a good support system. I don't have SHIT! I am apparently doing this all on my own with no support. He says "I want you off your meds". But then when I exhibit signs of going off my meds it's a fucking problem. Goddamn this is a lonely road when no one is in your corner. Every time he talks like that I start to think maybe I should've just killed myself. My dad is the reason I'm so fucked up anyways. You can't create the monster and then be mad at what you created lmao.

I know our lives aren't exactly the same and not sure if it's comforting to know that a lot of us are in similar situations, or if that just makes things more depressing. My parents make it more difficult to recover too, and I also have no job. I don't know where you live but besides all the things you're going through, the job market(in my country anyway) is shit. I'm sorry your dad is such a bitch. What else sucks is not having the financial stability to live on your own, because the economy is also shit. I do hope things get better for you. My parents also don't want me on meds, long story how I was even prescribed certain ones anyway, but that's besides the point. Remember even if you have no one in your corner in real life, you can always talk to the people here if it helps at all. Personally I have conversations turned off so I didn't mean like super literally but you know what I meant. I find it therapeutic to post and have replies from epople who actually understand.