Help Are there legitimately any reasons why I shouldn't kill myself as a 21 year old man?

[willyoucrywhenIdie]

I have no friends. No girlfriend. No job. No money. I live in an isolated small town with limited activities. I'm from a third world country. My dad abandoned us when I was 1. My mom is struggling with trauma. I am struggling with depression. My girlfriend of 1 year suddenly broke up with me. Every friend I had in the past lost interest and abandoned me. I have lost my will to live. I have lost motivation to do anything productive. I don't want to live anymore. But Id feel guilty if I left my mom alone. What do I do?

 

[avoid]

I don't think there are objectively legitimate reasons to live. Conversely, there are no objectively legitimate reasons to take your life either. Nonetheless, if you want a reason to not end your life: the brain undergoes a rewiring process that is not complete until approximately 25 years of age. Despite being an adult in the eyes of the law, your brain actually matures in your mid-20s. So similar to how this forum tells minors to not take their life, this medical fact tells you not to take your life.

I'm sorry to see you lost motivation and your will to live. I hope that, with time, you find the motivation to do something that makes you happy, and eventually, find your will to live.

 

[Vorty30]

"You need to pay taxes" - Says the nice government!

 

[Dejected 55]

You're doing better at 21 than I was. I've never had a girlfriend and I'm 55. I didn't even have a date for the first time until I was 25. I mean, I certainly can't argue from a position that "life gets better" over time... but you are ahead of my curve to have been in a relationship for a while. Whatever else you have going on, or not going on, when I was your age and I felt bad I never honestly thought of suicide back then. I was miserable a LOT, but a part of me kept hoping for more if I kept trying.

For some people that eventually works out. For me it didn't. For your sake I hope you are one of the ones things gets better for... and even as badly as I feel right now, I have to argue for younger people to give life a fair shot. Give yourself a chance to turn it around. IF it gets better for you in the next few years or even the next decade, you can have a long amazing life and put the bad times in the faded past. There is still time if you're willing.

 

[TBONTB]

I have no friends. No girlfriend. No job. No money. I live in an isolated small town with limited activities. I'm from a third world country. My dad abandoned us when I was 1. My mom is struggling with trauma. I am struggling with depression. My girlfriend of 1 year suddenly broke up with me. Every friend I had in the past lost interest and abandoned me. I have lost my will to live. I have lost motivation to do anything productive. I don't want to live anymore. But Id feel guilty if I left my mom alone. What do I do?

No one can tell you what to do, of course this must be your decision.


But when I read your question "are there reasons to live for a 21 year old man's, I thought "of course!". You are a 22 year old man!!!

So take this just as me coming up with reasons for you to live. Not saying what you should choose

-At 21 you are very young. There is so much time for opportunities
-Friends and girlfriends can be built. You are feeling a lot of loss right now from your break up and loneliness. But that isn't necessarily permanent
-Your Mom is a relationship and she benefits from you. Not that you have to live for someone else, but it is a reason
-Because life has some nice things: meals, sunsets, laughter.

-are you in the US? If you are I'm sorry, the immigration issues are really a problem. If you are somewhere else, what are the possibilities of getting training or some work?

Once again...I don't mean to say what your situation is or what you should do. Just wanted to answer your "are there any reasons to live" question?

"You need to pay taxes" - Says the nice government!

He's not paying taxes at the moment!

 

[SuicideKurt]

>Are there legitimately any reasons why I shouldn't kill myself as a 21 year old man?
Depends on what you mean by legitimate. I can imagine a system of values in which there would be no legitimate reasons to live at any age and conditions, even happy ones. Do I have the right to tell you to keep trying to live and improve your situation if it will only lead to worse pain and consequences? Do I have the right to tell you to kill yourself if it will lead to the same pain? I think there can be no absolutely right decisions in this world. If you are looking for legitimate reasons for life other than the depressive ones in your head, then I advise you to look at the world from the point of view of objective materialism and science. I am in a situation similar to yours and for me personally the world responded with cosmic silence and emptiness, which did not give liberation at all. But maybe you will find something bigger.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I don't think there are objectively legitimate reasons to live. Conversely, there are no objectively legitimate reasons to take your life either. Nonetheless, if you want a reason to not end your life: the brain undergoes a rewiring process that is not complete until approximately 25 years of age. Despite being an adult in the eyes of the law, your brain actually matures in your mid-20s. So similar to how this forum tells minors to not take their life, this medical fact tells you not to take your life.

Dude, shut up. I'm seriously getting sick and tired of people citing shit like this. Brain development is complex and varies a lot on an individual level. Along with that, the development of the prefrontal cortex, along with the connections between the prefrontal cortex and the limbic system, can potentially continue up into your early 30s. The development of the prefrontal cortex will also vary on an individual level, with some peoples' PFC development in earlier than others.

Those below 25 are still capable of making good decisions and its dumb to try and imply that we shouldn't be allowed to decide whether or not we want to take our lives. You are just infantilizing us. Keep your ageist bullshit to yourself. I'm sick and tired of seeing this crap.

 

[Alpenglow]

Dude, shut up. I'm seriously getting sick and tired of people citing shit like this. Brain development is complex and varies a lot on an individual level. Along with that, the development of the prefrontal cortex, along with the connections between the prefrontal cortex and the limbic system, can potentially continue up into your early 30s. The development of the prefrontal cortex will also vary on an individual level, with some peoples' PFC development in earlier than others.

Those below 25 are still capable of making good decisions and its dumb to try and imply that we shouldn't be allowed to decide whether or not we want to take our lives. You are just infantilizing us. Keep your ageist bullshit to yourself. I'm sick and tired of seeing this crap.

I believe the preface of "Nonetheless, if you want a reason to live" and "I don't think there are objectively legitimate reasons to live" implies that they don't necessarily believe this reason to be valid. And even if they did, I doubt they mean it as "You don't know any better" when they probably meant "Things can still change for the better". Though that sounds like a very thin argument for OP, which is probably why they underline that they don't particularly find it to be a good reason. But it isn't really my place to defend them so I digress. All I really want to show is that they don't mean any harm, and your reply feels overly virulent for what could be a well meaning reply :/

 

[Alexandra_]

Suicide is not prohibited by law. It is a personal choice of each person

 

[Dejected 55]

Suicide is not prohibited by law. It is a personal choice of each person

Many of us believe it should NOT be prohibited by law... but I believe in most of the world it is in fact prohibited by law, unfortunately.

 

[avoid]

Dude, shut up. I'm seriously getting sick and tired of people citing shit like this. Brain development is complex and varies a lot on an individual level. Along with that, the development of the prefrontal cortex, along with the connections between the prefrontal cortex and the limbic system, can potentially continue up into your early 30s. The development of the prefrontal cortex will also vary on an individual level, with some peoples' PFC development in earlier than others.

Those below 25 are still capable of making good decisions and its dumb to try and imply that we shouldn't be allowed to decide whether or not we want to take our lives. You are just infantilizing us. Keep your ageist bullshit to yourself. I'm sick and tired of seeing this crap.

I'm sorry that I upset you. I think you're misrepresenting what I said. I did not imply that anyone below 25 is incapable of making good decisions, but it seems it came across that way. Please add me to your ignore list so you don't see my bullshit and crap anymore.

@willyoucrywhenIdie To clarify, as most people said, only you can make the decision whether to live or die. I hope you read my first message in this context. I was trying to be supportive, coming up with a reason since you explicitly asked for one, considering that this thread has the "help" tag.

 

[willyoucrywhenIdie]

I'm sorry that I upset you. I think you're misrepresenting what I said. I did not imply that anyone below 25 is incapable of making good decisions, but it seems it came across that way. Please add me to your ignore list so you don't see my bullshit and crap anymore.

@willyoucrywhenIdie To clarify, as most people said, only you can make the decision whether to live or die. I hope you read my first message in this context. I was trying to be supportive, coming up with a reason since you explicitly asked for one, considering that this thread has the "help" tag.

I just want you to know that I didn't misread your answer and I appreciate your help. Just don't mind them I don't know what they're lashing out about. The way you spoke of yourself and your thoughts like "bullshit" made me feel sad. I hope you realize that your input is valuable, to at least, to a stranger online. I know things can get blurred up in lots of noise and people read what they imagine sometimes and not what they see.

 

[somewhatdeadly]

i don't think there is any reason to live even if i was rich social etc. its just dumb.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Did you have any vision for your life at all, no matter how vague, before you lost all motivation and drive?