Are many men (subconsciously or not) looking for a woman that is simialr to their own mother?

[noname223]

I had a crush on a woman in my self-help group. In some instances she is similar to my mom but on some others she is the complete the opposite. However, she gives me vibes that she is a "mother archetype". She is caring for others, very empathetic, high emotional intelligence but you can also have fun with her. She likes to watch trash TV (I hate that) while she herself is highly intelligent. I have the feeling she is like an ideal mother type. It is funny. Someone in my self-help group a friend of her just lives now at her apartment with her boyfriend. I consider this insane. I think they did not even say that this is temporary. I asked the person and they do not look for an own apartment from what I have understood. I joked to a friend I wish she could adopt me too. Lmao. This joke was the starting point of this thread.

When I had a crush on her I had some weird paranoid thoughts. But I thought she might struggle to find a boyfriend. She looks good but not very good and she is over 30. But seemingly as I found out there were many men begging to date her. She seems to be quite popular and I ask myself whether it is because of her unique character.

The irony is I think she wants now to be friends with me. I think she considers me way smarter than her (which I am very very likely not she currently tries to get her PhD in a STEM subjects) and tried to start conversations with me. Also because I am very deep. I sort of dodged that because I cannot imagine to be friends with her after my crush. Usually women are in the better situations for dating. But I am not in need for more friends. I have the feeling I might be a potential replacement for her boyfriend. She is in a longterm relationship since 8 years. I won't make me much hope. Especially if she is that popular among men.

What do you think? My own mom beated the shit out of me and abused. I certainly do not look for someone like that. Lol. But was Freud right?

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

My mom is kind of lazy, anxious, and airheaded just like me so I don't know if I would like a woman like that. I would hope that if I did get with someone that my mom gets along with them at least but I'd rather not have them be exactly the same personality wise.

 

[derpyderpins]

I chose a woman who is very opposite my mother, at least in terms of what I dislike most about my mother.

My mother is high strung, easily stressed, struggles with self esteem, is needy, and always seeks other's approval.

My partner is relaxed, low stress, low maintenance, high self esteem, doesn't care what others think... you get the picture.

 

[Mirrory Me]

I guess at some point you will be attracted to that kind of women, (not necessarily like your own mother but it reminds you about something like that). Tbh, my mother wouldn't be the ideal type for me (I don't know who it would be...).

 

[foreverfalling]

I want a woman that can give me unconditional love. But that can only be found in a mother.

 

[Steff1337]

From what I know, I've heard that a lot of men seek motherly love from their female partner.

 

[Username1359751]

To me, men seem to want to repurpose women to model the ideal mother they would've like to have had so they choose women who embody the traits that conform to their needs that weren't met in childhood/adolescence.
For eg, say if, they had a helicopter mom, they like women who give them plenty of space yet are available whenever they want them