Anyone else getting A LOT worse because of summer?

[FadeToBlack1109]

So, it's getting warmer, brighter, we just switched to summer time in my country and, well, I'm getting a lot worse. This has been the case for many years now, whenever summer is just around the corner.

I know many people suffer from seasonal depression, but usually it's the cold season that makes them depressed. And it makes sense.

But for me, it's the other way around. I feel comforted by snow and rain. And I feel so much worse when it's warm and the sun is out.

My theory is that it's because of my severe isolation. In the summer months, other people go outside with their friends and have fun and do stuff and I'm here all alone. I work from home as well. And I can order groceries to my doorstep. But if it's raining, the isolation doesn't feel as bad, because other people are staying inside as well, so I'm not the odd one out (or in, haha).

This is gonna sound extremely disrespectful, I hope people will understand that it's just my personal experience, but: I actually kinda enjoyed the first covid lockdown. That feeling of "I'm the only one that isn't taking part in this world" fully subsided, because literally everyone was isolated. And that's a horrible thing obviously, it's not like I want anyone else to suffer! But... it felt like millions of people could suddenly see the world through my eyes. Or more like, the bedroom ceiling.

Just like when it rains. It's normal to stay inside when it rains and thus I don't feel abnormal anymore.

But whenever summer begins, it's the opposite. People go out there and enjoy life and I can't. I have my reasons for staying inside all day, and it's somewhat voluntary, that's not what this post is about. I also don't feel jealous of other people, it's not like I yell at playing children or something. It's really just me hating my own life, not envying others for theirs.

I guess I just wanted to ask... does anyone else feel that way? Does anyone else feel like they have this extreme seasonal depression, but backwards?

I dread summer so, so much. My suicidal thoughts are somewhat under control at the moment, but I can just feel them knocking on my door whenever I open the window, see the blue sky and feel the warm summer breeze.

I don't know if I can take another summer. Anyone else feel this way?

 

[doomerguy88]

So, it's getting warmer, brighter, we just switched to summer time in my country and, well, I'm getting a lot worse. This has been the case for many years now, whenever summer is just around the corner.

I know many people suffer from seasonal depression, but usually it's the cold season that makes them depressed. And it makes sense.

But for me, it's the other way around. I feel comforted by snow and rain. And I feel so much worse when it's warm and the sun is out.

My theory is that it's because of my severe isolation. In the summer months, other people go outside with their friends and have fun and do stuff and I'm here all alone. I work from home as well. And I can order groceries to my doorstep. But if it's raining, the isolation doesn't feel as bad, because other people are staying inside as well, so I'm not the odd one out (or in, haha).

This is gonna sound extremely disrespectful, I hope people will understand that it's just my personal experience, but: I actually kinda enjoyed the first covid lockdown. That feeling of "I'm the only one that isn't taking part in this world" fully subsided, because literally everyone was isolated. And that's a horrible thing obviously, it's not like I want anyone else to suffer! But... it felt like millions of people could suddenly see the world through my eyes. Or more like, the bedroom ceiling.

Just like when it rains. It's normal to stay inside when it rains and thus I don't feel abnormal anymore.

But whenever summer begins, it's the opposite. People go out there and enjoy life and I can't. I have my reasons for staying inside all day, and it's somewhat voluntary, that's not what this post is about. I also don't feel jealous of other people, it's not like I yell at playing children or something. It's really just me hating my own life, not envying others for theirs.

I guess I just wanted to ask... does anyone else feel that way? Does anyone else feel like they have this extreme seasonal depression, but backwards?

I dread summer so, so much. My suicidal thoughts are somewhat under control at the moment, but I can just feel them knocking on my door whenever I open the window, see the blue sky and feel the warm summer breeze.

I don't know if I can take another summer. Anyone else feel this way?

For me I hate summer because of the hotter temps. I'm lucky to live near a cold ocean so in summer we can get a cool sea breeze that helps to keep things moderate, but we can have plenty of days where it's gets into the 90's or low 100's and there's no cool breeze to help. Anyways sorry you feel that way anf hope that whatever happens you feel better

 

[eggsausagerice]

My theory is that it's because of my severe isolation. In the summer months, other people go outside with their friends and have fun and do stuff and I'm here all alone. I work from home as well. And I can order groceries to my doorstep. But if it's raining, the isolation doesn't feel as bad, because other people are staying inside as well, so I'm not the odd one out (or in, haha).

This is gonna sound extremely disrespectful, I hope people will understand that it's just my personal experience, but: I actually kinda enjoyed the first covid lockdown. That feeling of "I'm the only one that isn't taking part in this world" fully subsided, because literally everyone was isolated. And that's a horrible thing obviously, it's not like I want anyone else to suffer!

i relate completely. you're not fucked up. i also loved covid because i hated everyone in my life and wanted people to know what it was like to be completely alone the way i was. it felt very freeing to never have to leave my house and not be expected to want to leave my house.

last summer it was actually really hard to go through with killing myself despite how miserable i was because of the heat and the humidity making me feel exhausted. this year i feel even more afraid of the summer because of how depressed it makes me, so i'm trying to leave before the heat makes it hard for me to leave my house. i think living in texas or any place that gets annoyingly hot in the summer leads to depression in the summer rather than the winter. winters are known to be really short here, with the cold peaking in december and ending in early march. even in high school i felt myself becoming suddenly suicidally depressed because of how much i hate being alone but knowing that other people must be spending time outside. i hate fourth of july because of how lonely i feel looking at the fireworks. i just end up hating myself for not being worth other people's time.

 

[Sardenain]

I used to have same feeling: how summer highlighted my loneliness and how that set my mood and thoughts into drain. But in the recent years I feel like I have "accepted" that and I don't really have stong mood swings because of summer. Nowadays I do enjoy summer and it's brightness and beauty.

Spoiler

And I feel dread as this will be one of the cooler summers of the rest of my life, how long it might be

Do I have any advice how to deal with summer depression? No I don't.
But you are not the only one being hit by summertime depression.

 

[unluckysadness]

I'm in the same situation (I'm alone and disabled while others can do things and that makes me feel even worse). And this feeling is stronger in the summer for the same reasons. I also have a neurological disease which is worse in summer because clothes are lighter and my neck spasms are more visible, so it gives me more stress and stress is an enemy for me. But it's known that suicide rate is very high in spring and summer.

 

[camusfan_ig]

I completely relate! I always felt a bit odd since it was backwards for me too lol. I definitely think it's due to isolation that I have this backwards 'seasonal depression'. It's nice to know I'm not the only one c:

 

[d4isy]

i feel the same way. it's a shame cause i used to love summer. but now it just worsens my depression tenfold :(

 

[BrokenByTheSystem]

Absolutely, I hate summer. Where I live we're entering the winter season. But we had 40ºC days in a row.

Hot days makes me feel bad, I wonder if this is some autistic related problem, maybe hypersensitivity to the heat? While on winter I can handle this with blankets.

On winter it feels like the world is more quiet, everything is more calm, idk I just feel like this.

I can't wait for the winter so I can rot in my bed properly.

 

[Echo]

Yup. Though to be honest I think I just have depression all year round but i think summer exercerbates it.
everyones out having fun in the summer and going on holidays while I'm stuck feeling lonely.
In winter I hibernate like a fucking animal but I know everyone else is doing the same.
Covid lockdown was bliss, I had 4 months off work and did want I wanted ( within the restrictions) and people stayed 6 feet away from me, what's not to like!

 

[mustard tiger]

I hate every season for different reasons

summer sucks because I cannot enjoy it like everyone else. I hate the feeling of rotting in bed while its 80 and sunny outside.

 

[9mmisglutenfree]

this is my favorite time of year, but anymore its my least favorite, cause i just wish i was happy so i could enjoy it. hell i dont even need to be happy but being able to feel a little joy from the sun would be nice. summer is going to be horrible

 

[NotSoEnchanted]

i relate completely. you're not fucked up. i also loved covid because i hated everyone in my life and wanted people to know what it was like to be completely alone the way i was. it felt very freeing to never have to leave my house and not be expected to want to leave my house.

last summer it was actually really hard to go through with killing myself despite how miserable i was because of the heat and the humidity making me feel exhausted. this year i feel even more afraid of the summer because of how depressed it makes me, so i'm trying to leave before the heat makes it hard for me to leave my house. i think living in texas or any place that gets annoyingly hot in the summer leads to depression in the summer rather than the winter. winters are known to be really short here, with the cold peaking in december and ending in early march. even in high school i felt myself becoming suddenly suicidally depressed because of how much i hate being alone but knowing that other people must be spending time outside. i hate fourth of july because of how lonely i feel looking at the fireworks. i just end up hating myself for not being worth other people's time.

I live in the SW and I agree. Instead of dealing with seasonal depression in the winter, you experience it in the summer. I much prefer the cooler months when there's less people out (both my dog and I are antisocial), and when I can actually go outside without burning alive. This year is already so fucking hot, like it's insane. Snowpack is the lowest it's ever been, it got up to 90 degrees last month, the Rio Grande is already very low, and there's been multiple wildfires with more expected. This summer is going to be brutal and I don't want to be here for it. I don't even think getting day drunk and sitting in the river/creek all day will be sustainable this year, I just want out. I don't want to deal with it being too hot to cook, too hot to drive, too hot to sleep, and too hot to take my dog outside. I love my state, but man the summers are tough, even more so if you have mental health struggles and what not.

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

Yes, I hope not to experience it.

 

[eggsausagerice]

I don't even think getting day drunk and sitting in the river/creek all day will be sustainable this year, I just want out. I don't want to deal with it being too hot to cook, too hot to drive, too hot to sleep, and too hot to take my dog outside. I love my state, but man the summers are tough, even more so if you have mental health struggles and what not.

the main reason i don't think i'm backing out of my next suicide is how the heat just makes it hard for me to even want to leave my house or sit in a car to go somewhere. it makes me feel like i'm withering away and like i'm crazy for being suicidally depressed when everyone seems to be able to deal with it. i genuinely cannot stand living in texas and every year the summer sun seems to get worse. the winter is much better for my anemia because i feel lightheaded in the heat and i get dehydrated very easily. it's worse to think about how summer is meant to be a social season but the weather just makes me feel incredibly isolated. i hope i never have to see another summer again.