Discussion Anyone else desire painful death ?

[lostintheloop]

I don't share the obsession with peaceful death on here. Like N would be the worst method to me as no suffering. I want and deserve to suffer as much as possible. I understand some slow and painful methods are unreliable because too many chances to back out or be 'rescued' if there's a treatment. But if something is painful and slow, and no chance of survival that'd be my perfect method. Like being burned alive but realistically I'm too coward as risks life changing injuries instead.
Anyone else or just me ?

 

[DeIetedUser4739]

No

 

[dolemitedrums]

Nope. Anybody with extra N please let me know. Not the least bit interested in extra suffering. Seriously, if you can hook me up with some N...

 

[Onelegman]

I do not wish a painful death

 

[b1cycle]

I want to go to sleep and never wake up.

 

[lostintheloop]

I guess me and my broken brain are alone in this then …

 

[Maggiemags]

No I just want to move on from all the pain

 

[ijustwishtodie]

No, I don't want a painful death. I want to avoid suffering, not cause more of it. If I wanted to suffer more, I would probably just self harm or engage with life as much as possible. Nembutal and euthanasia will always be the best suicide methods for me. I want to die peacefully and with a 100% guarantee that I'd actually die

 

[lostintheloop]

No, I don't want a painful death. I want to avoid suffering, not cause more of it. If I wanted to suffer more, I would probably just self harm or engage with life as much as possible. Nembutal and euthanasia will always be the best suicide methods for me. I want to die peacefully and with a 100% guarantee that I'd actually die

I get that. I do SH to suffer and I guess I do want to stop all my suffering with my death. Once I'm dead I won't suffer, which is the aim, but I want to suffer as much as possible until then and I want my final moments to be as awful as possible. As ctb feels to kind to myself sometimes. If that makes any sense.

 

[KillingPain267]

I get that. I do SH to suffer and I guess I do want to stop all my suffering with my death. Once I'm dead I won't suffer, which is the aim, but I want to suffer as much as possible until then and I want my final moments to be as awful as possible. As ctb feels to kind to myself sometimes. If that makes any sense.

How about just living as long as possible with as much SH as possible, and then when you are old, reject any medical palliative care? That would be the ultimate slow death maximizing suffering. It might still be a ctb because maybe the SH contributed to a bit earlier demise than otherwise.

 

[LifeIsBS]

hell no. 100% pure NO.

 

[lostintheloop]

How about just living as long as possible with as much SH as possible, and then when you are old, reject any medical palliative care? That would be the ultimate slow death maximizing suffering. It might still be a ctb because maybe the SH contributed to a bit earlier demise than otherwise.

There's no way I can endure life into old age, only in my 20s now. I have to die soon, I just want to maximise my suffering in the short time left and during my death.

 

[yxmux]

I have that as kind of like a weird fantasy. The idea that I'm evil and that I deserve the most painful death possible intrigues me a bit for some reason, but I've never acted on that instinct to my knowledge.

 

[Melancholy Mittens]

I relate a lot. I feel like i genuinely deserve to suffer and die painfully, but I can't even get past the SI for partial hanging; id be way too much of a coward to try anything else. Its something i think about a lot though, youre definitely not alone in that.

 

[KillingPain267]

There's no way I can endure life into old age, only in my 20s now. I have to die soon, I just want to maximise my suffering in the short time left and during my death.

I understand in some way. Getting shot or beheaded sounds kind of cool, and I'm curious how it feels, but I just have too low of a pain tolerance (part of why I suffer and even want to ctb) and too much SI to not seek out a painless method.

 

[unusally alive]

I'm too coward as risks life changing injuries instead.

I cant think of a slow and painful death that wouldn't also cause such injuries if rescued. You can't have one without the other. With such methods you are bringing your body to as close to dying as possible before actually dying whereas quicker methods just aim to kill you without anything in between, so if it doesn't succeed then you will mostly be fine.

 

[lostintheloop]

I cant think of a slow and painful death that wouldn't also cause such injuries if rescued. You can't have one without the other. With such methods you are bringing your body to as close to dying as possible before actually dying whereas quicker methods just aim to kill you without anything in between, so if it doesn't succeed then you will mostly be fine.

That's true. That's what I mean about it'd be perfect method if guaranteed or at least extremely likely. But I know that's unrealistic, just my ideal. Or as others mentioned here more of a fantasy. I'll probably end up doing something quick but hopefully more violent/painful.

 

[KillingPain267]

The more I think about it, the more I kind of agree. I have thought before that I would accept a painful heart attack or aneurysm or execution lasting up to 30 minutes, just as long as I am guaranteed that it ends in death afterwards. But I have a hard time doing anything painful to myself due to basic animalistic SI.

 

[Maggiemags]

I mean you can pour gas on yourself and light it. It wont be the slowest but it'll probably feel like a long time and if you survive you'll get to die slowly over a week or two in the hospital. I still don't know why you would want this.

 

[lostintheloop]

I mean you can pour gas on yourself and light it. It wont be the slowest but it'll probably feel like a long time and if you survive you'll get to die slowly over a week or two in the hospital. I still don't know why you would want this.

Hmm it sounds like a good way to go to me. Tbh I'm probably too cowardly, I burn myself sometimes but obviously that's on another level . I'm evil and deserve the pain. I don't deserve dignity or peace in final moments.

 

[JustA_LittlePerson]

I guess me and my broken brain are alone in this then …

No one's that special. I want it too, and I think I'll maybe burn myself soon. I know I don't have the courage to jump, so I'll use the pain of burning to finally be able to push myself over the edge. Even if I survive the fall, the fire will probably get me, and if it doesn't I'll be so messed up it won't really matter anyway.

 

[lostintheloop]

No one's that special. I want it too, and I think I'll maybe burn myself soon. I know I don't have the courage to jump, so I'll use the pain of burning to finally be able to push myself over the edge. Even if I survive the fall, the fire will probably get me, and if it doesn't I'll be so messed up it won't really matter anyway.

I just meant up until that point no one had related so felt alone in it . But since then multiple people actually have commented agreeing. Which is sad though that lots of us want to make ourselves suffer that much

That sounds like a difficult and excruciating method but I really understand the desire to go out in such a way

 

[Unknown21]

No, I do not deserve a painful death. I was forced to be here. Actually I did not choose anything in my life. I did not make a mistake.... One of my least rights is to die a peaceful death.

 

[.dreamless.]

Innocent people don't deserve painful death

 

[nymphojuno]

i'm torn between whether i want it to be painful or peaceful. i feel like i deserve a painful death for being the kind of person i am.