amnotreal
Student
- Oct 20, 2019
- 137
I don't want to hijack others posts and stuff and my internet is hardly working so I am afraid to take time to read them. I had surgery last month for endometriosis and adhesions and they found problems with my colon and stuff some of which i was probably born with. the surgery helped a lot of symptoms but the stress of this has me in so much physical pain and part of the pain is from constipation which really limits what meds i can take for it. some sources say even tylanol causes some people to be constipated. and this makes me want to ctb right now and i don't have anything that would be easy or not awful but I know enough about local native plants where i live and things that I always have a method available to me if I just go for a walk. but I have kids and they are already traumatized enough and so I keep pondering waiting and seeing if stuff gets really bad and then volunteering to help people who are really sick as a means to ctb without my kids grasping thats what i did and maybe instead thinking i was heroic or something. i dunno. i am to afraid of more pain to do it. i'm worried that i need another surgery to try and make my colon function somewhat and afraid of hospitals and feeling really hopeless.
