Am i destined to be forever alone? For people in similar situations, how do you guys cope?

[Tiredofit25]

Im tired, I'm exhausted and I can't cope with life anymore. I have no friends because everyone , especially women think that I'm weird for being different and asocial. I have no family either because my fathers side of the family didnt raise me and they want nothing to do with me because i am not christian and i am guessing my father is ashamed of me , they also deny the abuse (physical abuse, verbal abuse, malnutrition and emotional and financial neglect) that my mother inflicted onto me and call me bitter and said that I should be grateful because at least I wasn't aborted or raped, as if rape is the only valid form of parental abuse, and yes, i would have preferred to be aborted.

Im not conventionally attractive so I cant get a man, most men want a submissive maternal caretaker who coddles them and also a bangmaid , which i am naturally not, they do not want a woman who despite being a bit weird , is a somewhat decent person with similar hobbies to them and has a sense of humor. I am also mistrustful of men due to past experiences of men either being creepy or disrespectful. I suspect that I may be autistic which doesn't help. Whenever I do meet someone that i think I can trust , they backstab me, talk shit and take advantage of me, assuming that I am special needs. Whenever I try to keep to myself , people assume that I am being angsty and bitchy but when I am witty and sarcastic. People assume that I am childish, retarded. I dont want to sound edgy , but no one truly understands me and I find that disheartening.

I've been living on survival mode since I was child , with no support from anyone. Ive been dismissed by people as a retarded weirdo for suffering from depression and ive been told that i am wrong for feeling the things I've been feeling towards my mother because the Bible calls for children to respect your parents. I am isolated , I assume I will be for the rest of my life .

Life is getting harder and I know I have responsibilities as a adult but I can't cope alone anymore and i dont want to live. I can't do this for the next 10 years , much less 50. The average woman usually has a boyfriend, suportive female friends and good parents. I dont have that! I have no will anymore and I dont know why I keep going. Im enlisted in the us military because i need the money but i feel like I'm delaying the inevitable. I can't form any emotional connections to anyone and people eventually leave me and use my trauma against me once they see the real me. I am not worthy of love or respect no matter how much i work on myself and i am ready to accept that and ctb. I have my flaws but I am not a creep, or terrible person, just socially awkward. I am sorry for the rant!

 

[Sphene]

Finding the right person in this day and age can be really hard. I just wanted to say that there are people out there who can accept you for who you are, even if it doesn't feel like it.

I'm really sorry about your family situation. That sounds incredibly painful, and you didn't deserve that. I hope things gradually become easier for you, even if it takes time

 

[WhatCouldHaveBeen32]

People suck ass, I'm sorry. You are worthy of love and respect, you have your own boundaries, never cross them. Some of the men see you as a danger because of that and some of the women also see you as a danger because of that.

Having boundaries cuts your friendship/relationship/dating pool to like 5%-10% of the population. But they do suck for not giving you a chance just for being different or more asocial than the average person. And I know that you know that. It still hurts even knowing it. "Oh they weren't a good fit for you anyways, dw about it" I get it, I know, still sucks everytime I tried to make friends but we were just incompatible. I've said it before, it's a bit disheartening at some point, even if us not clicking as friends is the right thing to happen to both of us.

I get you in this part, don't want romantic/sexual relationship so don't know there, probably similar to friendship on how shallow some ppl are.

 

[Unlucky777]

You are enough as you are. Don't feel the need to change for anyone. People (yes including family) can be very cruel. It sucks to feel like you are living in survival mode (I've been in survival mode 45 years).

 

[Tiredofit25]

You are enough as you are. Don't feel the need to change for anyone. People (yes including family) can be very cruel. It sucks to feel like you are living in survival mode (I've been in survival mode 45 years).

Hi, thank you for your comment. Since you are in your forties . How do you cope with life as of now? I can't see myself making it to my forties. What makes you want to keep going?

 

[4colliez]

I feel like when people know me better they love me less.
I'm in a relationship that I'm keeping apart out of desperation because I feel like no one else will ever love me, but he can't even tell me he loves me at the moment. My family denies the things I've been put through by some of them and I have only a few friends.
Just know you're not alone in this at all. I think a lot more adults are lonely than it may seem. The only reason I keep on hoping is because things have gotten better for me at some point, even if right now I'm doing terrible, someone did love me at some point, I do have a couple friends. Maybe that's all worth something, I don't know.
It's all easier said than done but it seems to me you do know your worth and I'm sure there are more people out there who will see it too <3 Hope you can find some peace

 

[Unlucky777]

Hi, thank you for your comment. Since you are in your forties . How do you cope with life as of now? I can't see myself making it to my forties. What makes you want to keep going?

You're welcome.

I've survived a lot of stuff. I've been suicidal since I learned I was gay when I was like 12.

How do I cope nowadays? I exercise. I go run at like 3am or 4am. I lift weights. I go on hikes by my self. Exercise always grounds me. I play chess. I do crossword puzzles. I listen to music like Tupac, Eminem, Immortal Technique etc.

What keeps me going...I have two nieces that I love very much and I want to see them grow up and they also love it when I play and joke with them...i am back in school studying something I love and am pretty decent at and trying to develop my talents...i also stay for my older sister...i can't abandon her...I have a lot of potential I think but I have had many set backs. I know if I try I can live up to my potential, in the past I could not give it my 100% for many reasons but now I have the chance to give my all...I have hope for the future...i have faith in myself...I believe in myself and my abilities... Those are the main things that keep me going... It took a lot of struggles and frustrations to even get to where I'm at now, I wasn't always this positive...last year has been absolute hell but going thru these struggles made me into the person I am today and I believe we all have that inherent ability to overcome all our challenges...

BTW I also feel like (especially as of late) that I can't emotionally connect with people...I can totally relate to what you are saying here. I also feel like I don't belong in this world... It's so strange but yeah I feel that way

 

[alexit]

So much of what you said resonated with me. I bet it would resonate with a lot of people and yet we all feel so alone. People's lives aren't all as great as they make it out to be so don't assume others are living these amazing lives. You sound like a good person. How do you get through this? Work on yourself. Not because there is something wrong with you but because there is nothing wrong with you and you deserve to develop hobbies, pick up new interests. That's the best way to meet people anyway. shared interests. Not apps. Not work. Not the internet. Find a hobby you like and see how you can explore it in the real world. You'll be amazed how many people you meet.

 

[fadedghost]

Im tired, I'm exhausted and I can't cope with life anymore. I have no friends because everyone , especially women think that I'm weird for being different and asocial. I have no family either because my fathers side of the family didnt raise me and they want nothing to do with me because i am not christian and i am guessing my father is ashamed of me , they also deny the abuse (physical abuse, verbal abuse, malnutrition and emotional and financial neglect) that my mother inflicted onto me and call me bitter and said that I should be grateful because at least I wasn't aborted or raped, as if rape is the only valid form of parental abuse, and yes, i would have preferred to be aborted.

Im not conventionally attractive so I cant get a man, most men want a submissive maternal caretaker who coddles them and also a bangmaid , which i am naturally not, they do not want a woman who despite being a bit weird , is a somewhat decent person with similar hobbies to them and has a sense of humor. I am also mistrustful of men due to past experiences of men either being creepy or disrespectful. I suspect that I may be autistic which doesn't help. Whenever I do meet someone that i think I can trust , they backstab me, talk shit and take advantage of me, assuming that I am special needs. Whenever I try to keep to myself , people assume that I am being angsty and bitchy but when I am witty and sarcastic. People assume that I am childish, retarded. I dont want to sound edgy , but no one truly understands me and I find that disheartening.

I've been living on survival mode since I was child , with no support from anyone. Ive been dismissed by people as a retarded weirdo for suffering from depression and ive been told that i am wrong for feeling the things I've been feeling towards my mother because the Bible calls for children to respect your parents. I am isolated , I assume I will be for the rest of my life .

Life is getting harder and I know I have responsibilities as a adult but I can't cope alone anymore and i dont want to live. I can't do this for the next 10 years , much less 50. The average woman usually has a boyfriend, suportive female friends and good parents. I dont have that! I have no will anymore and I dont know why I keep going. Im enlisted in the us military because i need the money but i feel like I'm delaying the inevitable. I can't form any emotional connections to anyone and people eventually leave me and use my trauma against me once they see the real me. I am not worthy of love or respect no matter how much i work on myself and i am ready to accept that and ctb. I have my flaws but I am not a creep, or terrible person, just socially awkward. I am sorry for the rant!

is this a picture of you in the avatar? i'm a bit confused because you write like you are a heterosexual female but have a male photo and the male photo is of a pretty attractive mail, like not the hottest guy ever, but very symmetrical with large eyes and big features, not exactly what someone would see as unattractive. is that a photo of someone you know? is it you? are you a gay dude or trans? i am not following, and i am not trying to be mean, genuinely not getting what is going on and if the photo is you or not

 

[ih34rty0u]

if it comes to loneliness, i try to focus on studying, strength training etc. - things that don't involve people and make me think about something else.

i also talk to as many people online as possible, comment on others' posts to make me feel like im actually surrounded by people even if they aren't physically there and they're not my friends.

and obviously, im abusing substances to cope but i dont know if its a good advice

 

[Tiredofit25]

is this a picture of you in the avatar? i'm a bit confused because you write like you are a heterosexual female but have a male photo and the male photo is of a pretty attractive mail, like not the hottest guy ever, but very symmetrical with large eyes and big features, not exactly what someone would see as unattractive. is that a photo of someone you know? is it you? are you a gay dude or trans? i am not following, and i am not trying to be mean, genuinely not getting what is going on and if the photo is you or not

Haha no, its lil durk, a rapper in the photo

So much of what you said resonated with me. I bet it would resonate with a lot of people and yet we all feel so alone. People's lives aren't all as great as they make it out to be so don't assume others are living these amazing lives. You sound like a good person. How do you get through this? Work on yourself. Not because there is something wrong with you but because there is nothing wrong with you and you deserve to develop hobbies, pick up new interests. That's the best way to meet people anyway. shared interests. Not apps. Not work. Not the internet. Find a hobby you like and see how you can explore it in the real world. You'll be amazed how many people you meet.

There are many hobbies i want to get into but as of now I have no money. That will take awhile, I just cope with music and daydreaming . I also do have social anxiety which has exacerbated due to the constant exclusion and rejection I've faced from others. Tbh I dont like people anymore or being around them but i do crave human connection so im going through a dilemma.

 

[Baisley]

I really don't cope well at all. I am constantly thinking about suicide and trying to figure aout a way out of this existence. I am completely miserable and nervous all the time.

 

[Nadienobody]

I started caring about my looks, working out harder and improving my diet, which doesn't help me at all because my main problem is that I'm very socially awkard and can't talk to women. So I also started communicating with women through letters in an app, because that's the only kind of communication I can manage. And it has helped me a bit, It gave me some confidence, but I still feel hopeless if I think about any kind of romantic relationship.

 

[Daphne]

Keep myself as busy as possible and try not to dwell on it. Also my married/coupled friends aren't all that happy so I don't feel I'm missing much.

Im tired, I'm exhausted and I can't cope with life anymore. I have no friends because everyone , especially women think that I'm weird for being different and asocial. I have no family either because my fathers side of the family didnt raise me and they want nothing to do with me because i am not christian and i am guessing my father is ashamed of me , they also deny the abuse (physical abuse, verbal abuse, malnutrition and emotional and financial neglect) that my mother inflicted onto me and call me bitter and said that I should be grateful because at least I wasn't aborted or raped, as if rape is the only valid form of parental abuse, and yes, i would have preferred to be aborted.

Im not conventionally attractive so I cant get a man, most men want a submissive maternal caretaker who coddles them and also a bangmaid , which i am naturally not, they do not want a woman who despite being a bit weird , is a somewhat decent person with similar hobbies to them and has a sense of humor. I am also mistrustful of men due to past experiences of men either being creepy or disrespectful. I suspect that I may be autistic which doesn't help. Whenever I do meet someone that i think I can trust , they backstab me, talk shit and take advantage of me, assuming that I am special needs. Whenever I try to keep to myself , people assume that I am being angsty and bitchy but when I am witty and sarcastic. People assume that I am childish, retarded. I dont want to sound edgy , but no one truly understands me and I find that disheartening.

I've been living on survival mode since I was child , with no support from anyone. Ive been dismissed by people as a retarded weirdo for suffering from depression and ive been told that i am wrong for feeling the things I've been feeling towards my mother because the Bible calls for children to respect your parents. I am isolated , I assume I will be for the rest of my life .

Life is getting harder and I know I have responsibilities as a adult but I can't cope alone anymore and i dont want to live. I can't do this for the next 10 years , much less 50. The average woman usually has a boyfriend, suportive female friends and good parents. I dont have that! I have no will anymore and I dont know why I keep going. Im enlisted in the us military because i need the money but i feel like I'm delaying the inevitable. I can't form any emotional connections to anyone and people eventually leave me and use my trauma against me once they see the real me. I am not worthy of love or respect no matter how much i work on myself and i am ready to accept that and ctb. I have my flaws but I am not a creep, or terrible person, just socially awkward. I am sorry for the rant!

Regarding family, I feel you. I am an adult orphan as of a few years ago and it sucks. The pain of losing family led me to this site. It's pretty darn difficult to find new family the older one gets. I'm barely hanging in there myself.

 

[fadedghost]

Im tired, I'm exhausted and I can't cope with life anymore. I have no friends because everyone , especially women think that I'm weird for being different and asocial. I have no family either because my fathers side of the family didnt raise me and they want nothing to do with me because i am not christian and i am guessing my father is ashamed of me , they also deny the abuse (physical abuse, verbal abuse, malnutrition and emotional and financial neglect) that my mother inflicted onto me and call me bitter and said that I should be grateful because at least I wasn't aborted or raped, as if rape is the only valid form of parental abuse, and yes, i would have preferred to be aborted.

Im not conventionally attractive so I cant get a man, most men want a submissive maternal caretaker who coddles them and also a bangmaid , which i am naturally not, they do not want a woman who despite being a bit weird , is a somewhat decent person with similar hobbies to them and has a sense of humor. I am also mistrustful of men due to past experiences of men either being creepy or disrespectful. I suspect that I may be autistic which doesn't help. Whenever I do meet someone that i think I can trust , they backstab me, talk shit and take advantage of me, assuming that I am special needs. Whenever I try to keep to myself , people assume that I am being angsty and bitchy but when I am witty and sarcastic. People assume that I am childish, retarded. I dont want to sound edgy , but no one truly understands me and I find that disheartening.

I've been living on survival mode since I was child , with no support from anyone. Ive been dismissed by people as a retarded weirdo for suffering from depression and ive been told that i am wrong for feeling the things I've been feeling towards my mother because the Bible calls for children to respect your parents. I am isolated , I assume I will be for the rest of my life .

Life is getting harder and I know I have responsibilities as a adult but I can't cope alone anymore and i dont want to live. I can't do this for the next 10 years , much less 50. The average woman usually has a boyfriend, suportive female friends and good parents. I dont have that! I have no will anymore and I dont know why I keep going. Im enlisted in the us military because i need the money but i feel like I'm delaying the inevitable. I can't form any emotional connections to anyone and people eventually leave me and use my trauma against me once they see the real me. I am not worthy of love or respect no matter how much i work on myself and i am ready to accept that and ctb. I have my flaws but I am not a creep, or terrible person, just socially awkward. I am sorry for the rant!

you want a boyfriend

you have autism or autistic traits

solution for both: go to school to learn IT/network engineering/sys admin stuff

everyone there will have autism or autistic traits, or most will, and most will be guys who want to fuck

 

[Tiredofit25]

you want a boyfriend

you have autism or autistic traits

solution for both: go to school to learn IT/network engineering/sys admin stuff

everyone there will have autism or autistic traits, or most will, and most will be guys who want to fuck

I like the idea of a boyfriend but im afraid realistically it wouldn't work. It's not just about sex, i do crave affection. I dont want men to see me as a weirdo which many do and to be pumped and dumped or turned into a caretaker for a man who might see me as a placeholder. Many men for some reason, regardless of their archetype already treat me like im invisible , or are disrespectful. That's just how it is for now!

 

[fadedghost]

I like the idea of a boyfriend but im afraid realistically it wouldn't work. It's not just about sex, i do crave affection. I dont want men to see me as a weirdo which many do and to be pumped and dumped or turned into a caretaker for a man who might see me as a placeholder. Many men for some reason, regardless of their archetype already treat me like im invisible , or are disrespectful. That's just how it is for now!

if you aren't that picky, i'm sure a bunch of somewhat geeky slightly autistic IT guys would just be happy to have a gf

but your call... if you don't get a bf you could always drop out

among computer people, everyone is a weirdo, most have autistic traits, it would be weird not to be a weirdo at all

 

[violetforever]

why do you still want a man if you described what you know they want and its not an appealing role for women??? is it better to endure that than loneliness? i'm asking genuinely cause i have the same problems as you.

i am weird and shy from being sheltered/bullied/abused. my family is dysfunctional. i rarely leave the house. i have no friends either except 2 online friends that are also women. i get the "childish and retarded" treatment from strangers and even my own family. i don't know or really care much if i'm conventionally attractive. my family tells me when they catch men looking at me in public but i am mistrusting of men too so it doesn't mean anything and makes me feel uncomfortable.

i've never had a boyfriend or done anything. the closest experience to that was when i had an online connection. i could tell he found me awkward and inexperienced. one time he suggested that i have body dysmorphia and one of his friends even embarrassed me by calling me socially inept. as u can expect it failed. he was far from perfect too with his own problems and very clearly interested in other women. i loved him but not enough to put up with all that. almost 2 years have passed i learned a lot and haven't felt interested in a relationship ever since.

i think i cope by just accepting the reality that people aren't great and i am better off alone so i should just focus on myself. i know that's not so helpful but i'm a reclusive person. i feel the same as u, i think people won't like "the real me" and will use it against me so i can't really bother.

and you aren't worthy of love or respect yet you recognize the likable traits in yourself (somewhat decent person with similar hobbies to them and has a sense of humor)? i don't blame u for wanting to die because i have my entire life but i don't doubt you are a decent person too. <3

 

[justanotherbody]

I have a similar experience, though on the other end of things.

I'm a neurodivergent man, betrayed by every woman I've ever been in a relationship with. Which has only been 3, but still. First cheated on me after a year, second started dating another guy a week after leaving our 4 year thing, and most recently was my wife who cheated after nearly two decades.

It's hard not to internalize that. As someone painfully trusting, I've found myself rather distrustful anymore. Dedicating myself to a single person who cannot return the same dignity and respect...I just don't know that I have it in me anymore after three attempts. Which sucks, because my system desperately craves romantic connection, if only to make going through life a little more tolerable. But trauma history sends off warning signals with any modicum of attachment.

It's been hard coping with loneliness.

 

[Tiredofit25]

why do you still want a man if you described what you know they want and its not an appealing role for women??? is it better to endure that than loneliness? i'm asking genuinely cause i have the same problems as you.

i am weird and shy from being sheltered/bullied/abused. my family is dysfunctional. i rarely leave the house. i have no friends either except 2 online friends that are also women. i get the "childish and retarded" treatment from strangers and even my own family. i don't know or really care much if i'm conventionally attractive. my family tells me when they catch men looking at me in public but i am mistrusting of men too so it doesn't mean anything and makes me feel uncomfortable.

i've never had a boyfriend or done anything. the closest experience to that was when i had an online connection. i could tell he found me awkward and inexperienced. one time he suggested that i have body dysmorphia and one of his friends even embarrassed me by calling me socially inept. as u can expect it failed. he was far from perfect too with his own problems and very clearly interested in other women. i loved him but not enough to put up with all that. almost 2 years have passed i learned a lot and haven't felt interested in a relationship ever since.

i think i cope by just accepting the reality that people aren't great and i am better off alone so i should just focus on myself. i know that's not so helpful but i'm a reclusive person. i feel the same as u, i think people won't like "the real me" and will use it against me so i can't really bother.

and you aren't worthy of love or respect yet you recognize the likable traits in yourself (somewhat decent person with similar hobbies to them and has a sense of humor)? i don't blame u for wanting to die because i have my entire life but i don't doubt you are a decent person too. <3

Thanks for your comment ! I still crave affection and maybe sex from a man. I am also sexually and romatically attracted to men. I want to be like "the other girls" , because most normal women these days have a man and i feel like im missing out on womenhood. No matter where you go, you always are contanstly reminded of sex and relationships and even in other forms of media, you can't even relax without seeing women finding ways to show off their boyfriends and husbands. Even many women these days will revolve their whole personality and friendships around their boyfriends , husbands and their side pieces as soon as they get one to shove it to you. Constantly being overwhelmed with this stuff makes me feel like an loser. Personally im too much of loner to want to associate myself with others in fear of being betrayed and hurt, especially by men. Im also really mistrustful of men like you, I have a low patience level for men these days and I believe that they are too many risks as a women these days. If i wasn't somewhat starved for personal connection , which i would like to dilute and constantly being reminded of how abnormal i am by than other women by everyone around me because i dont have a man, I personally wouldn't care about being in a relationship or not . I do have somewhat of a sense of humor but many men dont want that , they dont even want anyone that can outdo them in terms of humor. They just want someone to laugh at their jokes , flatter them and look sexually attractive for them 24/7. Nothing wrong with that but Im not like that. Maybe im a bit to anxious again but I always fear the worst because thats all I've ever known.

 

[violetforever]

they dont even want anyone that can outdo them in terms of humor. They just want someone to laugh at their jokes , flatter them and look sexually attractive for them 24/7.

this is scarily true lol.

i don't have advice for wanting sex from men because it's not important to me and i can do without it. to me it has just felt like something i'm expected or pressured to do for them. :/ it doesn't even make me feel loved or desired or special.

i gave up on comparing myself to other women and trying to be "normal" a while ago but i get it. for people like us without love from our family or from any friends we are led to believe men will promise us anything and more and make it all better because romantic love is the most celebrated and we are meant to feel lesser without it.