kasa
Member
- Sep 18, 2025
- 13
No one's probably curious, but i wrote this because i wondered how someone like me would feel.
I hung out with close friends i hadn't seen in a long time. Being with them felt easy, like i'd gone back to a time when i was doing better. We genuinely had fun, said our goodbyes on a good note, and i came home.
Once i got home, reality hit. Tomorrow, the same shitty cycle of fate will start all over again like today was just the calm before the storm. I'm terrified of tomorrow.
Another problem was my looks. We took pictures together and everyone posted them on their instagram. Seeing them made me realize, once again, how ugly i am. I'm scared to even open ig, but i'm even more scared that my friends' friends will see those disgusting photos of me.
They'll probably think, "What kind of confidence does that one have to post that?"Maybe it's all in my head, but i've seen too many people like that around me to believe it's just paranoia.
I can't bring myself to ask them to take the photos down. Of course not. To them, those pictures are proof of friendship. As long as they look good, that's all that matters.
I feel so pathetic. I know better than anyone that nothing good will come from living. Still, it was a relief to realize that my relationships aren't completely ruined that i'm still a living being capable of talking to other people.
But even so, i don't think i'm someone who should be alive.
I hung out with close friends i hadn't seen in a long time. Being with them felt easy, like i'd gone back to a time when i was doing better. We genuinely had fun, said our goodbyes on a good note, and i came home.
Once i got home, reality hit. Tomorrow, the same shitty cycle of fate will start all over again like today was just the calm before the storm. I'm terrified of tomorrow.
Another problem was my looks. We took pictures together and everyone posted them on their instagram. Seeing them made me realize, once again, how ugly i am. I'm scared to even open ig, but i'm even more scared that my friends' friends will see those disgusting photos of me.
They'll probably think, "What kind of confidence does that one have to post that?"Maybe it's all in my head, but i've seen too many people like that around me to believe it's just paranoia.
I can't bring myself to ask them to take the photos down. Of course not. To them, those pictures are proof of friendship. As long as they look good, that's all that matters.
I feel so pathetic. I know better than anyone that nothing good will come from living. Still, it was a relief to realize that my relationships aren't completely ruined that i'm still a living being capable of talking to other people.
But even so, i don't think i'm someone who should be alive.
