After 57 days stuck in “item into sorting centre” I received my SN today!

[askmeifimatree]

I feel a little at ease now. My parents are leaving for holiday early June. I am hoping to CTB by then.

I'm being very selfish and I regret it a lot. Part of me doesn't even want to die but I feel like I have to.

My life was quite good actually. I graduated and had a really good job. I still have a lot of money left but I don't know what to do with it. I barely leave my room unless I have to go to hospital. My brother cried the other day because he is scared I'm going to CTB, I felt really awful. He still just a little baby in my eyes. I wish I was a better brother and a better son. So yeah.

Last time when I went hospital my psychologist asked me why haven't I killed myself yet. I found that question so odd. Haha, it kind of irritated me. I'm gonna make an example out of her.

 

[isthisthingon]

Last time when I went hospital my psychologist asked me why haven't I killed myself yet. I found that question so odd. Haha, it kind of irritated me. I'm gonna make an example out of her.

That's wild. What an incredible psychologist.

 

[askmeifimatree]

That's wild. What an incredible psychologist.

She's the head of Psychology at the hospital I go to. She's very blunt. She had a friend who died by suicide, and asked me, "If you really wanted to, why haven't you done it already?"I think she was trying to make me reflect on myself, maybe on the part of me that still wants to live. I don't hold it against her. I guess she was doing her job in the way she knows how.

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope you find peace, I wish you the best.

 

[WhyMe123]

I'm in the boat of wanting to get SN but not knowing how. That must be a relief to have it on the way.
Hope things go smooth for you!

If you have any suggestions or threads one can check out for sourcing SN, please feel free to share!