I really want to die, but I'm concerned that I'll fail and get brain damage or something almost as crippling that will make my life even worse.
Like some people here, I've read lostallhope and came to the conclusion that a shotgun has the best chance of success. Most other methods have unacceptably high chances of failure, or so it seems to me. The last thing I need is to fuck up and be too damaged to try again.
However, I don't live in a place where I can easily buy a shotgun. I'll have to move to one of the U.S. states with the most lax gun laws, find an apartment, find local work, pay rent, go through the procedure, save up for a couple of months, buy the shotgun, and only then can I take care of business.
The length and uncertainty of the procedure is keeping me from executing. I don't know what I'm going to do. Maybe I'm just a coward for not carrying out the systematic plan but what if I can't work out the logistics and get stuck in an even worse situation than the one in which I find myself?
Like some people here, I've read lostallhope and came to the conclusion that a shotgun has the best chance of success. Most other methods have unacceptably high chances of failure, or so it seems to me. The last thing I need is to fuck up and be too damaged to try again.
However, I don't live in a place where I can easily buy a shotgun. I'll have to move to one of the U.S. states with the most lax gun laws, find an apartment, find local work, pay rent, go through the procedure, save up for a couple of months, buy the shotgun, and only then can I take care of business.
The length and uncertainty of the procedure is keeping me from executing. I don't know what I'm going to do. Maybe I'm just a coward for not carrying out the systematic plan but what if I can't work out the logistics and get stuck in an even worse situation than the one in which I find myself?
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