Admitting myself to the hospital

[25jiyuki]

I've been dangerously close to death the past few months. I have a plan, know how to execute it and fight myself often to not do it. I want to CTB, yet my relationships are holding me back. My partner has urged me to go to the hospital and get help.. So I'm going to admit myself. If nothing happens, I'll take it as a sign.

Wish me luck

 

[rs929]

Good luck! If you're willing to admit yourself in an Hospital, it sounds like you have maybe a little bit of hope in your heart. So I think it's worth to follow that path

 

[onthefence]

I'm proud of you.

 

[25jiyuki]

I've been dangerously close to death the past few months. I have a plan, know how to execute it and fight myself often to not do it. I want to CTB, yet my relationships are holding me back. My partner has urged me to go to the hospital and get help.. So I'm going to admit myself. If nothing happens, I'll take it as a sign.

Wish me luck

Update after a month:

It went… alright. I won't get into much detail about the hospital. But I have a therapist now which has helped me. Got put on new medication. I was honest to my friends and family about why I went, so now they're constantly checking on me... I can say for sure that I don't plan on dying anytime soon, I want to try to heal first. However.

(spoiler: self-harm mention) It's really hard, now that I'm trying to get better, to have to stop myself from bad coping habits. I threw away my blades before admitting myself, but I heavily regret that. That's really the only way I coped with traumatic memories while alone, and I've been suffering every night since then. I've even thought of just ordering more. I know it's hypocritical when I want to get better, but I can hardly sleep now..

Overall I am feeling better than before. I made new friendships too. I just hope that I'll someday feel okay. Whenever that is.

 

[aiyuxhan]

hi! The fact that you are holding on for your relationship and connections in life, and that you're willing to try hospitalization, means that you have some hope left in you!

I'm really happy and proud of you for getting help. I hope you get the help you need!

 

[iset]

You are really strong! You chose to get help and have people who support you.
And you will make it to stay clean from SI. Ive been strugging with self harm a lot, too, it is so hard, but I am without for quite a few months now.

 

[scientificmethid]

Are you in the US? Was it easy to get out of the hospital after a few days or did they try to keep
You? I've always been scared to go and then they say you can't leave or something.

 

[Spicy Tteokbokki]

So happy it wasn't a bad experienced and that it helped you in certain regards. Hope it keeps improving for you.

 

[musingsofaghost]

Wishing you nothing but the best. Proud of you, stranger.