Venting Absolutely dreading going back to work tomorrow. Having intense suicidal thoughts.

[Spite]

I'd seriously rather CTB than continue wageslaving for the next 40+ years. This all feels so pointless.

I really cannot believe this is it. This is most peoples' lives. Getting up, dragging my ass to work, and spending most of the day slaving away at a job I couldn't care less about. This is miserable, exhausting, and soul-crushing, and I'm expected to do this for the next several decades?? I can't envision doing this for the rest of my life. By the time I get home from work at the end of the day I'm so tired and low on energy that I hardly have the drive to want to spend time on my hobbies or do much of anything but rest.

It's like I'm stuck in some kind of Groundhog Day simulation. I'm practically reliving the exact same day over and over again (sparing the weekends of course). This existence feels like a hellscape with no way out.

I don't even think it would matter what job I do, unless I was working in some elusive dream job that I absolutely loved which probably less than 1% of people ever get to experience. I just hate the idea of having to work. I really don't have any other choice, lest I want to be a resourceless NEET, or face homelessness. I have experience in both being a long-term NEET and being full-time employed. I can say from experience that both are pretty miserable, but in different ways. There really is no escape. It's like... pick your poison.

How am I supposed to "live my life" when I spend two-thirds of my waking existence stuck at work? What the hell am I supposed to do about this? The weekends aren't long enough and I barely get to enjoy them. Two days. That's it. Then it's back to work. This life feels like a cruel joke and wageslavery is more than enough reason for me to want to check out early.

I just about can't take this anymore. I wish I could fall asleep and never wake up again. If that actually happened, and I didn't live to see tomorrow, I think that would be a blessing.

 

[ipmanwc0]

Absolutely this alone would be a reason to ctb for me

 

[TomIsNotMyName]

I agree with you. I feel the exact same. I'm so glad it's my last week ever (if everything works out). I wish everyone of you all the best!

 

[ginko0]

I know exactly what you feel. Dropped out of my previous job because I couldn't keep doing the mind-numbing shit I had to do. Was about to have a mental collapse.

Been sending cvs since september and got exactly 1 interview of which I never got a call back. Coincidentally I have another interview tomorrow thanks to my mother's friend and it's almost certain I will get the position. And it's almost certain I'll be bored in less than a week. My plan is to make enough money to pay for my funeral and be done with it (even that is just an excuse).

As the meme goes, "I've tasted being employed and I've tasted being unemployed. I recommend not being born."

 

[InvasionOfPublicity]

yea im in the same boat here, im pretty much a NEET struggling to even find an entry level bullshit minimum wage part time... i literally just got rejected from getting a part time job at Target... it really does suck and its part of the reason im gonna CTB soon.

the struggle of employment vs looking for a job, i liken it to choosing between wearing piss-soaked underpants or shit stained ones for the rest of your life. good luck and i hope you can at least muscle through your work long enough to see a satisfying conclusion.

 

[otium]

I know exactly what you feel. Dropped out of my previous job because I couldn't keep doing the mind-numbing shit I had to do. Was about to have a mental collapse.

Been sending cvs since september and got exactly 1 interview of which I never got a call back. Coincidentally I have another interview tomorrow thanks to my mother's friend and it's almost certain I will get the position. And it's almost certain I'll be bored in less than a week. My plan is to make enough money to pay for my funeral and be done with it (even that is just an excuse).

As the meme goes, "I've tasted being employed and I've tasted being unemployed. I recommend not being born."

This is oddly similar to what Im experiencing. Hope all goes well on your end.

 

[Seneca65AD]

I can understand where you're coming from (damn J. Paul Getty and his decision to make society a work-centric structure!!). But - and this is just my opinion - if I were young and did not have any responsiblities such as a wife and daughter, I am pretty sure that I would not have pursued the career upon which I embarked. I would find what excites me or even what hobbies I have in my personal time and see if I can make a living doing those. For example, if I had to live life again, and did not have a family, I could see myself being a forest ranger, or fire lookout in the middle of nowhere. Perhaps a pilot, or hell, even a ghost or cryptid investigator.

Of course the above seems somewhat juvenile but so what? If what I am doing is going to make me so sad and depressed that CTB is the preferred option, then what is the harm if I try something I like? You may just find that it makes it easier for you to get out of bed in the morning..... and look on the bright-side, CTB is always available.

 

[LetMeOut67]

I can't believe this system carries on
It's just so awful cruel and unfair
If they offered voluntary assisted euthanasia I think lots would sign up
That's why they'll never offer it

 

[Spite]

The struggle of employment vs looking for a job, i liken it to choosing between wearing piss-soaked underpants or shit stained ones for the rest of your life. good luck and i hope you can at least muscle through your work long enough to see a satisfying conclusion.

That's like the perfect analogy for it haha.

Thank you for wishing me good luck. I don't know how but I'm just going to have to cope til I rope, I guess.

Hope you can escape NEETdom someday. Job hunting is always a nightmare...