A little too much practice and the survival instinct

[DavidWong]

Hey folks,

I was practicing suspension hanging tonight, and I may have practiced a little too well. I was testing my slipknot and the strength of what would be supporting my weight.

Now, I am a certified dumb-ass, so I decided to test both at the same time. I remember feeling warm in my face and darkness slowly covering my vision. The next thing I knew I was standing up and frantically trying to remove my noose. All of this happened in seconds I think; I'm not entirely sure.

Anyway, it turns out my setup will "work". Unfortunately, the survival instinct kicked and did what it is supposed to do.

Any advice on how to overcome the survival instinct? There's that diagram on here that shows how to do a partial suspension hanging. I now see how why full suspension is recommended. I guess do I just not want to die enough? I'm so tired of hurting...

Best regards,
DavidWong

 

[Praestat_Mori]

It can be the most logic decision for us to CTB but SI is strong and when it comes to survival logic doesn't play a role for our brain.

Full suspension is fool proof in the way that if you've kicked the chair away and you can't grab anything and the anchor point and rope can hold you, you will die.

 

[tirednwired]

Sadly I don't think there's a way to fully overcome it. Evolution-wise humans aren't programmed to want to ctb, you're gonna have at least a little SI whether you want to or not. If you're super concerned about it I would recommend to look into full suspension like Praestat said. Otherwise, making your method more comfortable could reduce SI a bit. For hanging specifically putting something over your eyes so that you won't have to see your vision get all blurry may help, and also padding the rope where the sides of your neck will be with something like a cloth or socks to help the compression be less painful. Here is a thread with a lot of info that might help:
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...ussion-on-tools-to-minimze-si-factors.181889/
Wishing you the best with whatever you decide

 

[areyousafe??]

Your name caught my eye. If you don't mind me asking, are you Chinese?

My SI is strong and I'm considering using benzos. The only difficulty is obtaining them and I'm not sure whether to bite the bullet and get them from the dnm.

 

[NonEssential]

That's why I haven't even really considered partial instead of full suspension. Idk how people do it without suddenly backing out.

 

[Gustav Hartmann]

You are right, full suspension is the better option in terms of success. What you do when you already hang is pure animalic instinct and has not much to do with how much you want to die. But if you are not able to step off the stool, then you just not want to die enough. You should take it as a sign and postpone your suicide.

 

[DavidWong]

Your name caught my eye. If you don't mind me asking, are you Chinese?

My SI is strong and I'm considering using benzos. The only difficulty is obtaining them and I'm not sure whether to bite the bullet and get them from the dnm.

Sorry, I'm not Chinese. I took it from one of my favorite authors. It's not his real name, and it's also the name of one of the protagonists in his series, John Dies at the End. Personally, my favorite book out of the series is This Book is Full of Spiders.

You are right, full suspension is the better option in terms of success. What you do when you already hang is pure animalic instinct and has not much to do with how much you want to die. But if you are not able to step off the stool, then you just not want to die enough. You should take it as a sign and postpone your suicide.

Yeah my best buddy essentially told me I didn't want to die enough. He used kinder words but that was the gist of it.

I've struggled with MI since high school. I'm in my early 30's right now, and things just keep getting worse. I'm not gonna sit here and complain, but I honestly think it's my time to go. The only thing holding me back is my daughter, but I know she'll be fine without me. Her mom is strong.

 

[DavidWong]

I have my daughter next weekend (Jan 31 to Feb 2). I am planning on CTB either that night after her mom picks her up or the night of Feb 3. I will probably get pack somethings during the day on Feb 3 that I want my daughter to receive on her 10th birthday. I may not be around, but I'd like for my daughter to see how much I love her and get some insight as to who her dad was.

I ordered some 1/2 in (12 mm) polypropylene rope and will be doing full suspension. Unfortunately, there is nothing that could support my weight in my apartment. However, there is a park nearby with plenty of things to support my weight, and, with it being winter, I doubt any children will find me. To better insure that I am found I will be sending a scheduled email out to the local PD and my ex-wife.

Wish me luck.

 

[Johnzaga23]

did you experience any pain? any headbloating? dizzyness? lightheadedness? numbness? did blood rush into your head? any satisfaction? were you able to breath?

 

[CTB Fella]

Alcohol.