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Eternal Disaster

Eternal Disaster

IHaveDemonsInMyHead
Aug 3, 2025
7
10 years ago my uncle committed suicide by hanging. It was impulsive but he succeeded. He was the best person I have ever known to exist on this prison planet.I always used to think that it was not a wise decision and he should not have done that but now when I am suicidal I understand him . There is pain,a lot of pain and I experience it everyday and obviously the one who does not suffer from it can not understand it. The pain and the misery is killing me from inside, like it is eating me up. I struggle to breathe.
It was the first death I saw in my life and I had no idea that soon I will be seeing many . Now I am kind of immune to death. I don't feel remorse anymore. I didn't even realise that with all those dying family members a part of me died as well. Now only misery is left. 10 years ago I could never even imagine that all those lovely 'humans' will die and I will be left alone to deal with these 'monsters'.
I know I will die soon because I am suffering so bad like all of them . They also suffered , I saw them and now I am suffering. I have been suffering terribly for past 4 years. It means that now it's my turn. Now I realise that this family is meant to end like this. All cruel people die alone and my father will also die alone.
I don't have the courage to say this to someone so I am writing it here. Sorry if I messed it up because of the brain fog.
 
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KissMeMidas

KissMeMidas

Member
Nov 10, 2024
5
Thank you for sharing! Hopefully letting this out made you feel better. I'm a part of a similar family tree, quite a few members CTB'd the early last century. We never have aknowledged it. I don't think we'll ever do. It's against ye olde script of course.
Nowadays: "passive CTB". Getting worse for my dad. He's been on disability pension for about 15 years and spends 23.5 hours a day at home. So yeah, reckon our dads are having a competition they ain't telling us about lmao.
Once again, thank you for sharing, please remember that we're here to hear you out, the members are kinda rotating but that's what makes it special.
 
Eternal Disaster

Eternal Disaster

IHaveDemonsInMyHead
Aug 3, 2025
7
Thank you for sharing! Hopefully letting this out made you feel better. I'm a part of a similar family tree, quite a few members CTB'd the early last century. We never have aknowledged it. I don't think we'll ever do. It's against ye olde script of course.
Nowadays: "passive CTB". Getting worse for my dad. He's been on disability pension for about 15 years and spends 23.5 hours a day at home. So yeah, reckon our dads are having a competition they ain't telling us about lmao.
Once again, thank you for sharing, please remember that we're here to hear you out, the members are kinda rotating but that's what makes it special.
Thanks for reading just wanted to let it out of my head.
 

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